Go with the flow, jump on that ride go with the TREND. To my FACE, say you think the WORLD of me but behind my back your JEALOUSY, INSECURITY of who you are it starts to show, INFERIORITY complex only YOU know. But the mirror TELLS what your mouth WON’T. I used to think that I KNEW you…
But I DON’T! I don’t… and NEVER did.
I dont want to go to the dentist. The thought of having a pair of rubber gloves and cotton wool in my mouth while the dentist tries to prise my mouth open farther than it was ever designed to go makes me wanna yak. I want someone to take my wee teefies to the dentist for me & I’ll stay here with my bear for a little longer before work :]
Yeah, it was perfect now it’s awful
Yeah it’s awful
He’s drunk, he tastes like candy
He’s so beautiful
He’s so deep like dirty water
God, he’s awful….
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, it turns into a glass splinter working its way through your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
I love Vicky because she got up SUPER early to get us Hole tickets. I love her THIS much!! xxxx
I had to work on Saturday and it was absolutely mind numbing. But Saturday night was the BEST. Victoria is home and it was amazing to see her beautiful wee face again along with everyone elses. It was like a reunion in the pub on Saturday night and I was as happy as a pig in shite. I got to see almost everyone I love in the one place at the one time and it was amazing. Ross Burgess included, I forgot how much I love that boy.
Scott and Stephen walked me home safe and we felt like we were back in high school :] Best boys ever.
When I got home I found an AMAZING present from Steph outside my door…a little handwritten note included…(my favourite part..as always) which has now taken it’s place on my wall with everything else thats special :]
My present included a beautiful Elvis Presley book, an amazing book profiling all the most notorious serial killers, a pink & a silver tiara, an AWESOME Alice in Wonderland poster (because I haven’t stopped going on about it & the mental rabbit since we went to see it!), another box of my FAVOURITE Tom&Jerry cupcake mix with sparkly decorations, the cutest cuddley giraffe ever, cat crispies for my kitty, a new cherry air freshener (because Steph knows I’m odd and I like to put them in my bag!) ..and a tin of prunes to make me laugh. Everything I could have wanted all in one amazing bag…thank you Steph, you are so lovely and I appreciate it so, so much. As if my night wasn’t good enough already, I come home to find that waiting for me. I think I fell asleep with a big cheesey grin on my face!
Sunday I jetted into town and we sang loud in the car, then I came home & sat burning my Yankee cherry candle, wearing my pink tiara and reading my serial killer book. Couldn’t ask for much more :] I went round to my momma’s later on to give her the Mother’s day card and gift that I got for her, and we had chinese food with my gran & my aunty Pam. I also put a little pink sugar mouse in with my mum’s gift… because it was so pretty :] It made her smile.
In other news, Vicky & I got tickets for HOLE at the o2 Academy in May. SO FUCKING HAPPY. I can’t wait!
“Honesty looks good on you, but LIAR should be your tattoo.”
Drawn for me by Jamie Cranston a long time ago.
“Love hangs herself with the bedsheets in her cell.”
Since my last post my blackberry has gone awol, TWICE. I cried, a lot. That’s been sorted now and I have my berry in hand again, sparkly cover included :]
On Valentine’s Day I did get one card. A pretty red one with confetti and hand written messages inside. Oh, and it was from my mum. I don’t agree with there being a nominated day in the year to prove to your other that you love them and appreciate them anyway. On February 14th, you EXPECT it, so to me theres nothing special about someone showering you with gifts and telling you how amazing you are if it’s on February 14th. That should happen at any given day throughout any given year and you should KNOW that your other has made that effort because they WANT to and because they REALLY FEEL those things about you, and not because St Valentine has indicated that they should.
A recent update on me being a spaz includes tripping over a Henry hoover and apologising to it because I thought it was a person, managing to lose my blackberry twice in 2 weeks, throwing m&ms at people in the cinema, STILL not being able to whistle and supergluing my finger to a ballpoint pen. I WORRY ABOUT ME. Steph and I are competing for spaz of the year, usually I’m number one candidate but she did manage to get her car towed in Edinburgh at the weekend so she’s definitely back in the running.
I’m feeling pretty great these days. That hollow, aching buried deep inside has gone. I’m not sure when it left, but it did. This heart is whole again.
I went out for the yummiest dinner EVER on Wednesday night and had some cheeky cocktails too. Got home and put on my new pyjamas and went straight to bed with my bear = best ever. Although when my dessert came with a strange fruit on it, I held it up and asked “Is this an itchycoo?” …I should say things quietly to myself before I say them out loud.
Last night I had many double vodkas and got chatted up by one too many strange boys. Do they sense I’m single and come hanging around like flies around shite? I do attract some stinkers. On my way to the bathroom I had a guy on his knees kissing my hand, which freaked me out to the highest degree, and when he asked for my phone number I said “Oh, ew, no thanks.” I didn’t mean it to be so rude but it just came out! When I got back Sav informed me that his friend said “The most beautiful girl in the world is in here tonight and her name is Emma. She’s amazing.”
…I mean, how lovely is that? And probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me behind my back, but I’m just not interested. He was trying to be so sweet to me all night and I was absolutely rubbering him. I feel really awful for that. The one boy that gives me butterflies was in the pub for a bit, but I don’t know why I was happy about that because it’s not like I have the guts to do anything about it. At the end of the night a horrible human being made a repulsive comment to me that made me feel sick to my stomach, but I refuse to dwell on it or allow it to make me unhappy. So that’s that. I woke up this morning with pakora sauce on my shoe, so that suggests a good night out!
I got my hair cut today, finally. I’ve been trying to get an appointment for weeks! The little junior girl was sent over to simply dry my hair after it had been cut by lovely Laura and it honestly took this wee chick about 2 hours. I wanted to grab the hairdryer away from her and say “I’ll do it my fucking self!” I didn’t think I was gonna get out of there before my 21st birthday. I know I have a lot of hair and I know they have to learn somehow but FUCK SAKE she was murder. Heading out to meet Vicky after her work and going to The Solid tonight for drinks. NO WEIRDOS PLEASE!!
“Let’s fall apart together now….”
