It’s possible that this blog won’t be read or even known about my many people but that’s not why I’m doing it. I’ve never had a blog before and I’m a really private person, but I figure as long as I’m being honest it’s not a problem to share my life with anyone who stumbles across it. Ranting helps, always.
For the record, I’m fucking freezing right now. My fingers turn blue as I type.
My boyfriend broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago now, and I thought I’d never get over it. For a week I cried myself to sleep and had this hollow, aching feeling in my body. I’ve never felt like that before. To be in love with someone is one thing, but to be in love with someone you later find out never existed is worse. Now that the reality is slowly seeping through I realise I’m not in love with the person he really is, I’m in love with who I thought he was. I will get over this fictional character eventually, but it will take my little heart some time. I gave my whole self to that person and I’ll never make that mistake again. Always retain a peice of yourself, because in life you are the only true constant you will ever have.
Over the last 3 weeks I’ve buried a lot of hatchets and I feel like myself again. I don’t feel hatred towards anybody, I’ve got love back in my bones and I could burst with it. My amazing, irreplaceable friends and my parents, as seperate as they are, have been my everything lately and I will never, ever let that go.
In other news, Bruffstar called me from skype earlier and made me laugh huge amounts. Our conversation included quacking Spanish pidgeons and I giggled my crazy giggle, the one that only comes out on special occasions. I set up this blog thanks to him. I’m crap at technology and could never have done it by myself! Definitely going to visit him in Switzerland this year and maybe he can teach my brain some more goodness!
This weekend has been brilliant, and next weekend will be even better. I’m excited.
